irina_derevko: (No Angel (krycons))
How much do you plan your larger works? Are you an outliner, a seat-of-your-pantser, or somewhere in between?

I haven't done a larger work in this fandom, just a lot of smaller stories that are kind of linked. I've wanted to do a larger work, but time's been a problem. That said, I usually start out with some small thing- a line that hits me, a canon point I want to jump off of and/or change, and I go from there.
irina_derevko: (Default)
flu a Christmas memory candle knit sugar plums
old year shovel frozen wonderland memory
fudge do not open until Christmas white nightmare before Christmas
fireworks crisp pine clouds getting nothing for Christmas
feast angel mom cabin gingerbread

Get your own CharLoft Winter Bingo Card at http://www.labarc.com/Bingo/

irina_derevko: (Search & Rescue (yodaamidala))
Title / Prompt: Lose A Battle, Win The War / January #3
Character: Irina Derevko
Warnings: Implied torture, offscreen
Fandom: Alias
Word count: 354
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Alias still belongs to people who, alas, are not me. Also, the latter half of this was written while spaced out on antibiotics which "may cause dizziness."

Irina imagines that dying would be a lot less trouble if her sister would simply let her get on with it.

She won't, of course. A quick and easy death for her sister is not in Elena Derevko's plans- no death at all, in fact, before she gets what she wants. What she wants, what she needs to complete her plans- and what Irina just as desperately cannot afford to let her have.

Knowledge she is trying to hold back, but she can't do that forever. She'll break sooner or later- everyone does.

This is why death is preferable, and why Elena doesn't dare let her have that escape.

Irina wonders, in the moments when she is left alone, with only her thoughts to try and block out the pain... She wonders what pretty lies her sister will tell her followers, those true believers in Rambaldi's work who believe that Irina Derevko's life is sacred. (Not enough belief to save her, only enough to ask potentially awkward questions.) She wonders if Elena will tell them that she had strayed, and for that, deserved...

It doesn't matter, of course- certainly it will not matter to her at that point. But she wonders about it, sometimes.

She wonders about a lot of things, when she is trying to find a way past the pain. When Jack and the girls will give up on her, when they will realize that she is never coming back.

If they'll ever know why...

When she breaks, she does so all at once, all of the information she'd been holding back from Elena coming out in a rush. For a moment, then, on the fine line between horror and shame, she thinks that now she can let go. Now she can let the pain take her...

Slowly, what Elena is saying reaches her ears; slowly, the words coalesce into familiar phrases.

Elena, thanking her- so politely!- for her help. Elena, describing the wallpaper she helped Irina's girls- her girls!- pick out for their kitchen walls...

She knows, then, that she has to hold on. Somehow.

She has to make this right.
irina_derevko: (Calculating (_ladydisdain))
Title / Prompt: Handful of Lies / December catch-up
Character: Irina Derevko
Pairings: Mild Jack/Irina
Fandom: Alias
Word count: 1,295
Rating: PGish
Disclaimer: J.J. Abrams & friends own Jack and Irina. They can have Sloane back if I can keep J&I, and the rest of the gang. *pause* I can't? Oh, okay... but I'll still give Sloane back. ;)

Handful of Lies )
irina_derevko: (Smile (_ladydisdain))
For [livejournal.com profile] badlieutenant and [livejournal.com profile] heir2slytherin: a gift certificate to one of their *ahem* favorite specialty shops.

For Annika: laser tag set.

For [livejournal.com profile] spydad: sniper rifle, box of C4.

For [livejournal.com profile] spydad's cat, Laura: catnip, kitty treats, large box of cat toys to replace the ones that have vanished to wherever cat toys go.

For [livejournal.com profile] thelostdaughter: two handguns, pair of daggers, tickets to Moscow ballet.

For Sydney: monogrammed briefcase containing large collection of CIA files, previously 'missing and presumed lost', circa 1980's.

For Isabelle: Baby's First Spyglass; Project Christmas puzzle.

For Katya: Box of chocolates, nail file.

For Eric Weiss: handgun to match the one she gave Nadia.

For [livejournal.com profile] shaman_x: small replica of the Rambaldi artifact he stole acquired a few years back.

For [livejournal.com profile] argentumlingua: antique silver letter opener.

For [livejournal.com profile] rogersmith_bigo & [livejournal.com profile] diamond_whore: a pair of diamond earrings for Satine, and matching cufflinks for Roger.

For [livejournal.com profile] r_dorothy_w: a collection of rare piano music sheets.

For [livejournal.com profile] constant_vigil & [livejournal.com profile] pennyclear: large collection of first edition books.

For [livejournal.com profile] crazyunclearvin: stocking full of coal.

Marshall, Dixon, Rachel, Tom, & the rest of the gang at APO: candy canes.

Marshall, & Dixon's kids: one each, Playstation 3
irina_derevko: (Such Lovely Betrayal (catographies))
Title / Prompt: First Command / July #5 - First
Character: Irina Derevko
Warnings: KGB!Irina on the job. Was a little creepy to write...
Fandom: Alias
Word count: 1,371
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Alias & Irina belong to J.J. Abrams & Bad Robot, as usual. *sigh*

First Command )
irina_derevko: (J/I Waiting For You (_ladydisdain))
Title / Prompt: Eternal / June #1, sharp
Character: Irina Derevko
Warnings: Spoilers for Alias series finale
Pairina: Jack/Irina
Fandom: Alias
Word count: 356
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: JJ Abrams and Bad Robot own. If I did, things would've ended a bit differently.

Eternal )
irina_derevko: (J/I Waiting For You (_ladydisdain))
Title/Prompt: Home At Last / May picture prompt "Life"
Fandom: Alias
Character: Irina Derevko
Pairing: Jack/Irina
Rating: PG-13
Warnings & Notes: Big, HUGE spoilers for series finale, "All The Time In The World". Also AU. Necessary AU. Not what I'd intended to post for ths month, but it's what I've got. Sorry.
Words: 1,845

Home At Last )
irina_derevko: (Teehee! (cartographies))
LiveJournal Username
Who do you work for?
What is your rank?
What is your mission?
Your second in commandspydad
Demolitions and weapons expertr_dorothy_w
Baby-faced, soft-spoken killing machinepennyclear
Family guy/girlshaman_x
Quiet religious guy/girl who loses it later ondoctorwho9
Wisecracking electronics expert and hackerrogersmith_bigo
Will you succeed in your mission?True
Total cost in collateral damage$506,090
This Fun Quiz created by James at BlogQuiz.Net
Australian News at NewsDump


irina_derevko: (OMG (mspt47))
We are not amused. )

Jack? Did I leave my sniper rifle at your place? I'm going to need it back...
irina_derevko: (Default)
Title / Prompt: Wine and Vengence
Character: Irina Derevko
Pairings: Sloane/Emily, Sloane/Irina, Jack/Irina
Fandom: Alias
Word count: 2,039
Rating: R
Disclaimer: As usual, not mine, no money being made, don't sue.
Note: Takes place immdiatly after the season 2 episode A Dark Turn.

Wine and Vengence )
irina_derevko: (Default)
Title / Prompt: Price / 001: Black
Character: Irina Derevko
Pairings: Sloane/Irina, Jack/Irina
Fandom: Alias
Word count: 1, 202
Rating: Uh... say PG13?
Disclaimer: Alias belongs to people who are not me. Also, this fic written while on painkillers, so I blame any gaps in logic, or other crap, on the meds, and the hurts that made me take said drugs. You have been warned. :)

Price )
irina_derevko: (Default)
Title / Prompt: Only Lies / 001 - More, Sisters of Mercy
Character: Irina Derevko
Pairings: Irina Derevko/Jack Bristow
Fandom: Alias
Word count: 401
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: J.J Abrams and Bad Robot own Irina. Who is not evil. Just FYI. :)

She still dreams about California sometimes. And when she wakes, she still longs for things she cannot have. Still reaches for someone who isn't there.

She knows by now that these dreams and these desires aren't to be shaken aside. There is only one answer to this, though she has searched for others.

If she could only turn away and not look back- if she could only turn away and keep going, not giving a damn for what she was leaving behind... If she could do that, she would have done it long ago.

But she knows better now.

Irina Derevko has spent almost thirty years trying to ignore the things that she feels, trying to set them aside. Thirty years of dreams, of wanting. Thirty years of regrets.

She learned to feign all of this years ago. She breathed lies into her kisses, and he believed.

That's all that it ever was, of course. Only lies.

Only lies, so many that it took her years to realize she had believed, too.

She wasn't supposed to fall in love with him, and she's not supposed to miss him.

And she isn't supposed to dream of California.

She's still playing the game, but the rules are different now. Now, she lets him get closer. Lets him almost reach her, and then draws away again. Not because she doesn't want, but because she wants too much. Because thirty years ago he almost made her forget which were the lies she told him, and which the ones she told herself. Because she can still lose herself in the way he looks at her.

She went to hell for him. She'd do it again, but she never wants him to know that. She wants him to wonder, instead, if he will ever be forgiven for that sin. It is easier by far to keep him guessing than to admit that he has had the answers all along.

In a way she is still telling lies. The difference is that this time, he knows them when he hears them. This, too, is a game they play. She pretends that she's still angry, and he pretends that he believes her.

But on the nights when she dreams of California, she knows it's time to let the lies fade away. Time to let the truth be told, again.

Truth takes time, but some truths have taken too long.
irina_derevko: (Spyfamily 4.0 (cartographies))
When I was a child, with my sisters at my mother's feet, I was not alone. When she died I was not alone. I had no time to be alone; there was work to do, and no one else to do it.

When I was sent to America, when I married Jack, I thought that I would always be alone. I learned, slowly, that I was not.

When I carried my daughters, bore them within me for nine months, I was never alone. Carrying Sydney, and Nadia, then holding them in my arms when they came into the world, I was not alone.

When I came home, and saw those I had loved and betrayed again at last, I knew I would not be alone. I knew they did not want to love me, that they did not want to allow themselves to. And yet they did.

When I opened my arms to my eldest daughter, when I held Sydney close to me and felt her embrace, I was anything but alone.

And when at last my daughters pulled me from a darkness so deep I had thought I would never know light or free air again... When they brought me home... When I looked at Nadia's face, the face my heart had always known, I knew... I was not, would never be again, alone.

Muse: Irina Derevko
Fandom: Alias
Words: 225

Hope

Jan. 24th, 2006 10:04 am
irina_derevko: (Free (gypsy_icons))
Title / Prompt: Hope (002 / Sunrise)
Character: Irina Derevko
Warnings: Spoilers, 4/22 "Before The Flood"
Fandom: Alias
Word count: 292
Rating: 13+
Disclaimer: Not mine. JJ Abrams, Bad Robot, blah, blah...

Irina Derevko walks away from her family through the ruins of Sovogda, with a submachine gun slung over her shoulder.

It's been a long night.

The Russians will be here by dawn, and she knows perfectly well what they will do to anyone they find still in the city then.

She can't afford to linger, but she doesn't want to go.

It takes an act of will to keep walking, not to turn back and look at them. She doesn't have to look to know what she would see; Sydney, struggling to hold back her tears, Vaughn carrying Nadia, still mercifully unconscious, Arvin, disarmed and lost... and Jack staring after her, watching her go even when he shouldn't. He is the one who will have to get them moving now...

Irina cannot let herself think about what is behind her, or she'll never go forward. They'll get out. Their extraction team is on its way.

She should be waiting with them. She can't, of course. She has work to do.

She could have told them, of course, could have spared them so many hours of that agonized hope she had already seen forming in Sydney's eyes... But she couldn't. There was no hope waiting for Nadia back in America, no miracle cure to restore her to the young woman they had all known and loved.

The young woman her mother never had a chance to know.

Against her will, Irina had helped her sister set tonight's events in motion. One thing she knows; Elena did not mean the effects to be reversible.

So for Nadia there is no hope, unless Irina finds it.

By the time the sun rises over her homeland, she is on her way to Italy, searching for hope.
irina_derevko: (Fallen (_ladydisdain))
Dear Mama,

More Than Destiny )

Muse: Irina Derevko
Fandom: Alias
Words: 1,193

Seeking

Jan. 5th, 2006 03:48 am
irina_derevko: (Would You Stay? (_ladydisdain))
Seeking )

Muse: Irina Derevko
Fandom: Alias
Words: 2,038

Kindness

Dec. 30th, 2005 12:04 pm
irina_derevko: (Her Mother's Daughter (cartographies))
Horizon spoilers )

Muse: Irina Derevko
Fandom: Alias
Words: 522

Letter

Dec. 9th, 2005 10:58 am
irina_derevko: (Default)
Dear Irina,

You are so young now that much of what I will say to you will seem no more than a dream. I understand that. You may not believe a word of this, and I understand that as well. You may choose to ignore my advice, to do nothing differently. Perhaps, instead, you will correct some of my mistakes. We shall see.

You are the eldest, and you have always been told that this makes you responsible for your sisters. You understand this to mean that if any harm comes to them, you will be blamed for it. You're right, but do not carry this too far. Do not assume you are always responsible for what they do. They will grow up, and the choices they make are theirs alone.

What affection your mother feels for you, she will never show in a way you will understand. She is harsh, perhaps too harsh, but you will learn strength from her. You will learn who you are, and you will always remember the things she taught you.

Your father will be most noticeable in his absence. In time you will earn his respect. Accept that it is the most he will ever give you.

You will grow up to become what you want most to be, and it will change your world. You want a chance to prove yourself, and you will get it.

I cannot even begin to tell you how much will change, from that moment.

Trust in yourself, and in your own judgment, even above that of your superiors. They will never know everything, and it is best that way. They need you. Do not let them forget it.

The year she turns eleven, you will want very badly to hit Elena. Do it. Perhaps it will help, though I doubt it.

Many years from now, you will find a work by a man named Milo Rambaldi; Il Diluvia. Do not read it. Examine it only enough to identify it, and then destroy it. This will have consequences; reading it will have even greater ones.

Muse: Irina Derevko
Fandom: Alias
Words: 348
irina_derevko: (Default)
She finds the message in the personal ads of a small underground Canadian paper, two lines of code she knows like the streets of Moscow where she grew up. She deciphers it quickly. It is one of several dozen they use and change at random, and the words form easily in her mind.

Venice. Two days. -J

Meeting is dangerous, but it always has been. She's always been willing to take the risk, and never more so than now. More even than needing to see him, she needs to know what is happening. She needs to know if her youngest daughter's condition has changed.

Venice never seems to, though she knows the ocean is closing in on it. She finds the city as she'd left it last, and her husband waiting for her as the fog rolls in.

"Irina."

"Hello, Jack. Miss me?" She smiles, and he smiles back, but there is something not quite right...

"Yes, I did."

She sighs softly. "Nadia?"

"There's been no change. Arvin tells me her doctors don't think... that there is any hope."

"Of course. They don't understand her condition at all, what hope would they see?"

It's been six months since she set out to find a cure. Six months, and she is still looking. She no longer speaks of her own hope, but she will not stop searching.

Jack does not answer, but he reaches for her, and she lets him pull her close. The fog swirls around them, leaving them two blurred shapes to those passing by, and often not even that. She can let down her walls here, and no one will see but Jack. Jack, who has seen her broken so many ways, that if she lets herself shatter a little now, it hardly seems to matter.

Even now she does not cry. Tears are things of grief, and she is not willing yet to accept that they might be necessary.

"How is Sydney?" she asks, after a long moment of silence.

"It's been difficult for her, but I think under the circumstances, she's doing well."

Irina nods. It goes without saying that she wishes she could be there- for both of her daughters. It goes without saying, too, that she can't.

"Tell her- tell them both..."

The messages never really change that much. Tell them I love them. Tell them I'm still looking.

He nods. "Of course."

She does not doubt that he will do it, that he will even whisper her words to Nadia, though in her condition, she will not respond.

Tell them I have faith.

She wonders if Nadia will remember these things when she wakes.

Muse: Irina Derevko
Fandom: Alias
Words: 441
Page generated Aug. 21st, 2017 02:37 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios